December 23rd - Aromatherapy Associatessss

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As we edge towards Christmas Day with ever more collectively clenched teeth, I’m looking at an afternoon wandering around Sainsbury’s local swigging gaviscon. Liberty does me a solid with some essential oil roller magic. This calendar has truly made me realise my love of roller balls, ya know. I roll roll roll this onto my temples and breathe deep. I roll the Aurelia eye stuff on too for luck, and briefly fantasise about presenting my  rollerball condiments business in the dragons den. Roll on the 25th!


I’ve just gotten home from seeing a fabulous friend in some Shakespeare. I apparently go to Shakespeare at Christmas not instead of panto because you can be cultured AND into makeup. It’s past midnight so in I go.

Mixed feelings here. In case the crystals chat wasn’t enough of an indication I am a believer in essential oils. Anyone who knows me knows I am destined to be a yoga old lady with lots of clanky jewellery and candid sex speak like Barbara Streisand in ‘Meet the Fockers’ or Barbara Streisand in real life. I am not, however, a believer in a mood enhancing roller ball, as my bathroom drawer-come-roller-ball-graveyard can attest. I think they’re nonsense for the simple reason I’ve never EVER been in a stressful situation and wished I had brought a roller ball.

The package says ‘roll over pulse points and breathe deeply for an instant effect. ‘Instant!’ I think as I paint my wrists with it. I breathe deeply. The strangest thing happens. It has an instantly calming effect. Unbelievable. I genuinely smile. 

Now back to the freelancer Christmas party i.e. eating a sausage sandwich with Winston in front of Drag Race because that’s my real idea of culture. Don’t tell Simon Russell Beale. 

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Rebecca Humphries