December 19th - Egyptian Magic
I already own a big pot of this that my mum gave me when I was gale force whining to her about my dry itchy skin. It is a perfectly serviceable beeswaxy balm. (I keep meaning to try it out as a balm cleanser – I think it might work?). It has kitsch packaging with slightly unhinged claims all over it a la Dr Bronner liquid soaps. I have nothing more to say on it, but what I do want to report back on is that Davines OI milk from yesterday. I finally washed my hair this morning, used it on wet hair before blow drying, and good god the smell is so heavenly. I am currently at my desk SMELLING THE INSIDE OF MY WOOLY HAT because it is so beautiful. I cannot speak for de frizzing properties as my hair is flat flat flat, but I will now be using this as well as mousse before my waving my hair with straighteners. Davines 4EVA.
Have been fascinated by this more mystic version of Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream as I can’t really stand the smell of Eight Hour cream and carry crystals around now so it stands to reason I’m after something a little more…..witchy. There’s obviously something that doesn’t sit entirely right when one thinks of ‘Ancient Egyptian balm’, as it takes you straight to ‘Embalming’ = sinister. The website claims it does everything - moisturises, heals burns, fades scars, is a lip balm & vaginal lubricant and…..wait, whuuut?
Anything that melts into an oil is alright by me, although it does take a considerable wedge of the balm to cover my hands which gets sucked up in seconds and now I can’t stop thinking about ancient Egyptian fannies.
I am distracted by the pot; ‘Used by the great sages, mystics, magicians and healers’ so by now these claims are getting out of hand. I’m not sure I trust any of them. It also claims the CEO and Founder is ‘LordPharoh ImHotepAmonRa’ which if you’ll recall is the baddie in the film ‘The Mummy’ which is obvs a bit of fun but it all adds up to something a bit ominous for a skincare regime.