Trowelling with the Stars: Inaugural Cher Horowitz Edition
Clueless is probably my most watched film, and takes me right back to being a slightly out of breath pre-teen wearing Tammy flares and a ‘tattoo choker’ (badass). Once, a school friend’s glamorous older sister, deigned to watch it with us. At one point, she whispered out loud to no one in particular: ‘that’s how to be a woman’. Which is odd really, because everyone in that film was pushing 30 whilst playing 15. And to add to the weird age time-warp confusion, Paul Rudd is in it, famously looking exactly the same as he does now.
Anyway, I digress. Cher Horowitz, to 11 year old me, truly was the epitome of womanhood. The computerised wardrobe, the marabou pens, the patent t-bar mary janes and the mini kilts. I wanted it all. And she’d have had all this. And now I want all of this, too.
CK one, £26
This is how all the slightly ‘richer than yow’ kids smelt at my school circa 1995, and therefore exactly what CH would have worn. Especially with her Calvin Klein dress that looks like underwear. I hesitated between this and Giorgio Beverly Hills, so perfect in it’s colour scheme and geography - yet too pungent to earnestly endorse.
Becca Shimmering Skin Perfector, £30
For accentuating your inherited supermodel cheekbones. Cher wouldn’t contour, doesn’t need to.
MAC Matte lipstick in ‘Velvet Teddy’, £17.50
The perfect Cindy Crawford 90s shade of beige.
Vita Liberata Body Blur Instant Skin Finish, £30
For glossy thighs poking out of tweed miniskirts.
Creme de La Mer, £125
Essential for stressed, 16-year-old rich girl skin.
Lancôme Juicy Tubes, £20
Did you even grow up in the nineties unless there was a pencil shaving encrusted tube of this in the bottom of your school bag? And as Cher says, always draw attention to your mouth.