Passive aggressive gifts from the Boots 3 for 2 offer (for enemies)

by Claire

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Unicorns, mermaids, mini marmalades and an olympic sized swimming pool’s worth of branded body spray - it’s the dregs of the Boots 3 for 2 Christmas offer! Embrace your pettiest you by giving these super passive aggressive gifts.

FCUK Body Spray Trio £10

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Up first is this body spray trio from FCUK in three stinks: Vintage, Sport and Urban. The amount of body spray on offer here is absolutely mad. WHO is using this stuff???? Surely you would just use a deodorant and a perfume/aftershave. It all smells like air freshener and I don’t know who it’s for.

https://www.boots.com/fcuk-body-spray-trio-gift-10251215

Delicious Art Preserve and Marmalade set £16

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I have no issue with preserves, but buying them from boots feels wrong, like eating a jam sandwich in the bathroom.


https://www.boots.com/delicious-art-14-in-preserve-and-marmalade-10251902



Joules Bath Fizzers Gift Set £6

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These come in an egg carton emblazoned with the words  ‘Plop Splash Enjoy’ and a lone one star review on their website.

https://www.boots.com/joules-bath-fizzers-gift-set-10249136


TGI Fridays Fajita Set  £20

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Here we have a small cast iron ‘sizzler’ pan and three kinds of fajita seasoning, from a restaurant you’d be embarrassed to bump into someone outside of. Honestly baffling.


https://www.boots.com/tgif-fajita-set-10251183


Krispy Kreme Strawberries And Kreme Bath Fizzer £4

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Krispy Kreme????? Basically like giving someone thrush. Doughnuts are for eating, not stewing in.

https://www.boots.com/krispy-kreme-strawberries-and-kreme-bath-fizzer-10249292

Zoella Lifestyle A Year to Cheer Desk Calendar £10

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If you have a desk, you’re too old for Zoella.

https://www.boots.com/zoella-lifestyle-a-year-to-cheerdesk-calendar-10250145

Harry Potter Slytherin bath fizzer  £5

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The most passive aggressive present I have seen in quite some time.

https://www.boots.com/christmas/gifts-for-her/all-christmas-gifts-for-her/harry-potter-slytherin-bath-fizzer-10254703

Ted Baker Fragrant Jewels £8.50

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Ted Baker fragrant jewels sounds like Ted baker’s severed testicles in a gift box and god knows how this got through any sort of marketing team/product development panel.

https://www.boots.com/christmas/christmas-3-for-2/ted-baker-fragrant-jewels-10246762

FCUK Boxers & Body Duo Gift £16

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You could really do quite some damage to someone’s sexual self esteem with this.


https://www.boots.com/fcuk-boxers-and-body-duo-gift-10251217

All about that baste Christmas dinner flavoured lip balm £2.50

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The most laboured, disgusting sounding thing on here, and that takes some doing.

https://www.boots.com/read-my-lips-all-about-that-baste-christmas-dinner-flavoured-lip-balm-10249743

Unicorn hoopla £8

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I know this is a bit of fun and whimsy but the amount of unicorn tat on these god forsaken 59 pages of boots gifts is unreal. You are not a unicorn. You are a 27 year old HR assistant in Solihull. I have disdain for them all, but have chosen the unicorn hoopla game as the category representative because it has an hilarious choking hazard warning on it, which I suppose makes me just as regressive as the unicorn lovers.

https://www.boots.com/unicorn-hoopla-10250373

The Food Medic lunch box £12

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So it’s….a lunch box? For only ‘food medic’ approved health food? That’s empty? That’s £12? Ok. Thanks. It’s great *weak smile*


https://www.boots.com/christmas/gifts-for-her/gifts-for-granddaughter/the-food-medic-lunch-box-10251963

Claire Rigby