About us



I’ve been slapping it on for roughly 26 years, when I first watched the make-up sequence in ‘Look Who’s Talking Too’ and had to experience it for real. I once BIT IN TO my mother’s Max Factor lipstick as it looked so beautiful. I am too embarrassed to say how old I was at the time.

As a theatre and film actress, I’ve sat my leopard-print clad arse down in the make up chair and hoovered up tips from some of the best, nicest smelling women in the industry (male make up artists also available). I have sported the natural look, the laid on thick look, and the laid-on-thick-but-looking-like-it’s-natural-one (my preference, if you’re asking). I’ve played make-up artist to more drag queens than you can shake a mascara wand at, and loved every lurid, sparkly second. I’ve had to negotiate 3 month runs of plays wearing the thickest, smudgiest foundation sealed with talc-like powder and mixed with the sweat that comes from performing to over a thousand people every night, and have spent many years rectifying the skin underneath that became both spotty and dry as a result. The after show pub trips didn’t help much either.

I’ve written for the Guardian, The Pool, Conde Nast Traveller and Vogue among others.

I’ve gone through the wringer recently, as a result of some misjudged life choices. So I’m not perfect.

But when all’s said and done I’m just a girl. Standing in front of a Sisley Counter. Asking it to not cost as much.


My Go-To Products

From left to right:

-Clarins Huile Lotus Night Oil, 

-Bobbi Brown Long Wear Gel Eyeliner/Pot Rouge for lips & cheeks, 

-Liz Earle (Cleanse & Polish), 

-The Ordinary serum foundation, 

-Sunday Riley Tidal Brightening enzyme water cream, 

-Max Factor (False Lash Effect Clump Defy mascara)  

 My Ongoing Problems

-Puffy eyes

-Saddle bags


-Weak nails

-Over plucked 90’s eyebrows that are still growing back in weird patches

Pesky Flare Ups

-Dry Hair

-Spots that look like a beard

-Dull complexion

…but my Superpowers are

-Hair like on the adverts

-Long eyelashes

-Soft hands



My first makeup experience came via the Brent Park Tesco’s beauty aisle, where after much hot cheeked begging my mum bought me a rimmel ruby lip pencil, blue eyeshadow and a frosted ‘nude beige’ lipstick. I kept these treasured items in a velour drawstring bag, which I remember keeping on my lap at dinner – I would keep pretending to drop things on the floor, scurry under the table and smearily reapply it all whilst shouting ‘just a moment!’. You never forget your twenties, do you?

 Anyway, years later here I am. A beauty hobbyist with a real aversion to perfume advert spiel, pseudo-science-nonsense-names and those horrible new serums packaged to look like syringes (what the actual fuck?). I’m no beauty oracle but I’m an enthusiastic consumer and a true fan.

 I live in London and work in Museum Education (aaahhh). I’m married and live with my family and two elderly Siamese cattes.


My Go-To Products

From left to right:

- Charlotte Tilbury lipstick

- Vichy Sunscreen

- Trilogy Hydrating Mist toner

- Any AHA/BHA tonic (like Pixi glow) or Mandelic Acid 15% by the Ordinary

- Una Brennan Rose oil

- Glossier Boy brow

- Armani Power Fabric or The Ordinary serum foundation

 My Ongoing Problems

- Dry flakey corpse skin and the monthly fun pimple

- Giant tits

- Stretch Marks

- Snape hair


Pesky Flare Ups

- Eczema

- Overdoing it on booze/food and getting grey skin (does this count as a flare up? What I’m saying is I love booze and food and sometime I love it more than looking nice)

-Body dysmorphic panics


…but my Superpowers are

-Clear, soft skin

-Giant tits

-Big green eyes